Not Pleasure, But Health: Why Giving Up Sex Is Bad For Well-being And Undermines Self-esteem

Not Pleasure, But Health: Why Giving Up Sex Is Bad For Well-being And Undermines Self-esteem
Not Pleasure, But Health: Why Giving Up Sex Is Bad For Well-being And Undermines Self-esteem

Video: Not Pleasure, But Health: Why Giving Up Sex Is Bad For Well-being And Undermines Self-esteem

Video: Not Pleasure, But Health: Why Giving Up Sex Is Bad For Well-being And Undermines Self-esteem
Video: Навальный - о революции, Кавказе и Спартаке (English subs) 2023, December

It is believed that by nature, men have a greater need for sex. They say that sex has almost no effect on women's health … Our expert, in principle, agreed with this, along the way listing the problems that representatives of both sexes may face in the absence of a relationship for a long time.

Abstinence increases fear of failure

“Men have more testosterone, and therefore the need for sex too. This is if we say in general terms: it is clear that there are men with a weak sexual constitution (it is naturally determined by temperament, heredity), and there are women with an increased amount of testosterone. But in general, the situation is like this. And let's not forget about the prostate, which is physically bursting with ejaculate. Let me explain: there is the so-called Tarkhanov-Belov phenomenon. With abstinence, the accumulating ejaculate, demanding an exit, increases libido (Tarkhanov's phenomenon). The body can rid itself of ejaculate through nocturnal emissions. But older men may not have them.

The Tarkhanov phenomenon in men is balanced by the Belov phenomenon - with sexual abstinence, the tone of the testes is suppressed and sexual fantasies, spontaneous erections become less and less frequent. And after a long period of abstinence, a man cannot immediately restore the usual rhythm of sexual activity. With age, it becomes more difficult to return to a normal rhythm. That is why long-term abstinence (abstinence) in men over 50 is highly undesirable.

Another problem arises, and it is often treated by patients. This is a syndrome of anxious expectation of failure, when a man cannot relax at the right moment and is afraid to fail in sex. The syndrome is aggravated if in the past there were stinging remarks of the partner, "misfires". Some may complain that they have an undersized penis, and have complexes about it, although the penis is fine.


Evgeniy Kulgavchuk sexologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist

Lack of sex affects self-esteem

Women with a weak sexual constitution are easier to tolerate sexual abstinence. But there are those who have a strong urge to "want a man". At the same time, sex is not a person's primary need, so the saying “I want to, but will switch” can be applied to everyone. For example, the absence of sex in a man's life initially causes aggression and nervousness - in fact, nature is so conditioned that in order to conquer a female, energy and healthy aggression are needed. But then the body can adapt to do without sex. Testosterone will decrease, the body will go into the so-called conservation.

What is the danger of such conditions for both sexes? The fact that over time the desire can, in principle, disappear, a person gets used to do without a partner, without sex. It is easier for women - they can make love using lubricants for arousal. But if a man does not have an erection, then the sexual act is not feasible.

In women, prolonged lack of sex negatively affects self-esteem. She begins to think that she is not wanted, that she is not in demand. That is, men have their own fears, women have their own.

By the way, very often, when the period of abstinence has passed, a career is going uphill for men, they are ready to move mountains. And in women, it is the psychological background that improves, the mood rises, the eye begins to burn - sexual satisfaction leads to different results.


How to Relieve Sexual Tension?

Through masturbation. But adaptive, as I call it. That is, this is masturbation, similar to a sexual act, a kind of rehearsal for success. But, as I already said, there are drawbacks. That is, on the one hand, the process contributes to orgasmic discharge, improved mood, prevention of gynecological diseases, and on the other hand, a woman, for example, teaches her body to respond to specific stimuli (shower jet, vibration), and then it is difficult for her to get an orgasm during classical sexual intercourse. act. This is maladaptive masturbation.

Constant porn viewing in the long run can also do more harm than help. In addition to complexes, there may be dependence on external attributes, the situation, as in the film, or satiety, when you watch everything the same, and nothing excites. Neither on the screen nor even more so in life. Why do I always say that books are better than cartoons? Because the former make the imagination work, anticipate, imagine! Do not get addicted to porn, look for other ways to get some relaxation.

By the way, I do not share the opinion that sport helps to get rid of sexual tension. Quite the opposite. When the body is in good shape and you are full of energy, on the contrary, a surge of desire is likely. And if we talk about professional sports, serious loads, then after them problems with erection are possible."

Our expert is sure: there are different periods in life, including when there is no partner, but you definitely need to look for him. After all, it's not just about sex, but about the need for any of us to communicate. Emotional attachment improves the quality of life. And health too.

Photo: vostock-photo