It is not customary for us to talk about the loss of a child. Women who find themselves in a similar situation often face tacit empathy or, even worse, tactless questions from others. Public recognition from celebrities is especially questionable. Many are immediately suspected of PR on a too personal topic, which is not customary to make it public.
Does she miss Likes?
Alena Apina spoke about nine miscarriages and a daughter, whom a surrogate mother gave birth to
Not so long ago, the wife of Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin gave birth to her sixth child. Hilaria became pregnant six months after she had a miscarriage. The fetal heartbeat was then barely traceable, the embryo was slowly developing. The doctors' predictions were confirmed - then Hilaria experienced an abortion, which she immediately told the subscribers. After some time, the woman shared the already good news - she is pregnant again, everything is going according to plan.
Many of the Russian-speaking users at that moment condemned Hilaria: someone was bewildered by her frankness, someone wondered if it was not harmful to get pregnant so often, whether her body had time to recover.
“Why tell your subscribers such intimate details? Maybe it's because of the hype and she lacks sympathetic likes?”, Many wondered.
In our culture, it is really not customary to share either grief or joy frankly. The first is considered too personal, many in such situations ask to be left alone and show respect. And this is quite understandable. As for happiness, many will immediately remember the proverb that it loves silence.
Hilaria Baldwin became pregnant for the sixth time six months after the miscarriage
Six months is enough time for mourning?
To suspect PR in the era of social networks is as easy as shelling pears. For example, model Chrissy Teigen, five months after an interrupted pregnancy, continues to publicly mourn the baby on her Instagram. In February, he was supposed to be born, but the model had a miscarriage due to bleeding. According to Chrissy, she didn't have the courage to look at the dead baby's face, which she greatly regrets. The model accompanied a recent post on the topic with pictures in combination with translucent breasts - in this way she starred in the music video of her husband-musician, being already pregnant. In the comments, Chrissy was condemned for inappropriate photos and for the fact that, five months after the tragedy, she continues to shed tears in public.
“At first I thought that she was struggling with stress like that, looking for understanding or something … but half a year has passed … it already looks abnormal”, “It was very sorry for Chrissy at first, but maybe it’s enough to stage a play after six months?” Russian-speaking followers ask questions …
Chrissy Teigen with her husband
The model is still going through the loss of a child
Needless to say, Meghan Markle's story about how she survived a miscarriage was immediately taken with hostility? Prince Harry's wife shared the details in a column for The New York Times: hugging her son Archie, she physically felt that she was losing her second child. Not everyone at this moment showed sympathy, accusing the woman of another attempt to attract attention to herself. They say that a family tragedy should be experienced in a narrow circle. However, in the case of the Duchess, the wave of accusations of hype that hit her can be explained by bias - Megan burst into the royal family, having no right to do so in the eyes of the majority (the “divorced”, dark-skinned, older than the prince) and immediately began to behave outside the protocol …Already one of these days, an interview with a couple of TV presenter Oprah Winfrey will be released - for sure, the spouses will share, among other things, the details of how they suffered the loss of a child.
Prince Harry's wife gets pregnant again shortly after miscarriage
It is not customary for us to talk about personal things.
As for domestic celebrities, we talk about such tragedies either years later, or very succinctly, putting the message between the lines: thanks for your sympathy, but I don't need pity. So, Alena Apina only many years later told the whole country about nine (!) Experienced miscarriages. After so many failures, the singer and her then-husband decided to turn to a surrogate mother, thanks to whom their daughter Ksenia was born.
Margarita Simonyan was preparing to become a mother for the fourth time, but the pregnancy was terminated. Then the journalist asked to respect her tragedy and give her the opportunity to be alone with it.
Alena Apina
Instagram @_m_simonyan_
Marina Golomazdina
Don't rely only on yourself
Marina Golomazdina, co-founder of the 12storeez fashion brand, was quite frank with her audience on the social network. The expectant mother showed how the preparations for the appearance of her son in the house were going, assuring that she was not going to sit on maternity leave. Unfortunately, 16 hours after birth, the baby died - Marina told about this on her Instagram, asking to leave the family alone in a difficult period and turning off comments along the way. After the experience, the girl began to share much less life events in social networks - according to her, she now does not want to do this at all. After some time, Marina gave women in a similar situation advice: “Do not rely only on your own strength, please. Ask for support. If possible, work with a psychologist. Read other women's stories and share yours. It's a long way, but we have to go further."
Thus, in our mentality, it is still not very accepted to talk about grief - rather, it is done in order to put an end to rumors behind our backs. According to experts, every woman has the right to decide how it is easier for her to experience the tragedy: alone with herself and her family, or by sharing it in a public space.
Prishvina Kristina Gelovna Gynecologist-endocrinologist, gynecologist-reproductologist at the Lito medical clinic, specialist in ultrasound diagnostics, member of the RARCH association, ESHRE.
Specialist comment
According to the WHO recommendations in our country, you can get pregnant six months after a miscarriage, that is, 6 months after contraception is needed. In addition, during these 6 months, the hormonal background is normalized, multivitamin therapy.
I believe that a miscarriage is often a psychological story. Accordingly, from the side of psychology, this is a trauma, and it must be experienced: let it be a public statement, a discussion in order to get the necessary support, and there was a release of negative emotions.
Healthy women also have miscarriages, yes. Everyone has the right to a spontaneous miscarriage if there is an abnormal development of the fetus, a breakdown at the genetic level, not associated with the carriage of any genetic mutations in a woman and her spouse. These are, for example, Down syndrome, Edwards syndrome, and so on. These breakdowns happen spontaneously, so we cannot predict them. And the purity of a miscarriage with such pathologies is much higher than with normal caryatid in a child.
In order to exclude the factors of repeated spontaneous miscarriage or non-developing pregnancy, it is necessary to be examined. The examination is carried out on the gene systems of mutations, polymorphism in it: how much the patient has a tendency to thrombus formation and, accordingly, to missed pregnancies, early heart attacks and strokes. A test is also carried out for APS (antiphospholipid syndrome) - this is the case when our body produces antibodies. In addition, it is necessary to examine the karyotype - this is our chromosome set. Check with the patient and her spouse if they are carriers of some of the same mutation, which, when the egg is fertilized, can give a genetic breakdown in the fetus. It is also necessary to exclude all sexually transmitted infections.
Termination of pregnancy at any time may be associated with disturbances in the hemostatic system, against the background of antiphospholipid syndrome, and may also be caused by fetal genetic pomology, infections, and isthmic-cervical insufficiency.
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